Freedom! – My Story Part 4

A TV show that intrigued me was the 90s surrealistic Northern Exposure. I believe it was the "Heal Thyself " episode when one of the characters, Ed, had a guest come to his home. The guest's name was Low Self-Esteem. Ed let the guest in his house and allowed LSE to constantly belittle him, in his own house. This episode fascinated me. Why would he let that creature come in his house and tell him that he was no-good, worthless, unacceptable or whatever? He allowed LSE to move in. Come on. Really? You don't let people come in your house and put you down and then feed them.

 Delight yourself in the LORD
 and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

God gave me the desire to change—to be free from depression. I knew something was wrong, but apparently I was okay living like that. It was like letting low self-esteem move in. Why put up with that? Someone had moved in my house and I was living with that thing for seven years. Wow! How crazy is that? I thank God that He stirred me toward change. It was time to give depression his eviction notice.

I went to morning prayer as usual on Tuesday July 29, 2003. I was determined that depression had to go. I recall running down the hall of the church as an outward act to remind myself of my determination. Then I went back into where everyone was praying. Someone began speaking a Word from God. When she finished I started laughing. What she said wasn't funny, but I started laughing. I don't know how to describe it. I guess it was like something broke and fell off of me. Depression had left the building! HALLELUJAH!

Of course I was excited! I was free! YEEEEHAAAAAA! I laughed for a while. I laughed a lot for days. And this became my freedom scripture.

¹ When the LORD brought back the captivity of Zion, We were like those who dream.²Then our mouth was filled with laughter, And our tongue with singing. Then they said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.”  ³The LORD has done great things for us,
And we are glad.  Psalm 126:1-3 NKJV

That was me: back from captivity; feeling like a dream; mouth full of laughter; tongue full of singing; saying the Lord has done great things for me and I am glad!

You know how it is when you've had a pain and then it's gone? You don't realize that it's gone at first; then you start doing a little mental inventory like you're poking that injured part of your body with your mind. And you realize the pain is gone. I didn't realize some of the things in me that had returned to normal, right away.

One day I was talking with an acquaintance on the phone. I was telling her what God had done in my life. I started talking about David in the Bible and how he told God thus and so and God responded thus and so. Then I told her something about Ezra. Nobody talks about Ezra; he was kind an obscure character in the scriptures. But I was talking about him. And I excitedly continued to talk about the Word. Finally she asked me, "Do you memorize scripture on purpose?" or something like that. I did a quick mental poke. I REMEMBER THE SCRIPTURES! God is awesome!

A word about depression:

I don't understand everything about depression, but I know that it may not always be characterized by sad feelings. In my case, it was constant tiredness; difficulty staying focused on a topic; and difficulty remembering simple things. I wouldn't dare try to diagnose someone. But if it seems like someone has "moved in your house." Please get help. I hope that you recognize that depression is opposite of what God wants for you. It's good to want what He wants and He wants His people to have joy. I pray that you will be desperate for change.

One morning at prayer, before my VJ (victory in Jesus) Day someone asked me what I wanted to do, work wise. I had shared at church how God had opened a door for me to present at a statewide conference. I had presented for this group before, but this was a special presentation. I had a four-hour workshop. And the other two presenters were PhDs or EdDs. And then there was Denise. When she asked what I wanted to do, I said confidently, "I want to work at NASA." It was the weirdest thing when I said it. It was like I felt it. Like someone put a stamp on it to seal it.

  

After VJ Day, I still had a desire to move. I felt okay about this now because I knew that I wasn't trying to move to runaway from a problem. The problem was solved. Well imagine this: the next week the NASA project that had told me they weren't hiring sent an email to tell me to submit an application. Well I was busy with other things, but I finally sent a résumé. So it's August now. Within the next couple of weeks, I had a phone interview; flew to Huntsville for an interview; and on September 25, 2003 I pointed my car south.

Alabama here I come!

When Will Joy Come? -- Day 30

It's already day 30 of our joy adventure. I still have at least two more parts to the "my story" mini-series. Thank you for allowing me to share with you. I hope the booklet and the blog have touched your life in a meaningful way. Have you noticed any difference? Maybe you're asking when will I see a difference? When will joy come?

Let's go back to some of the first scriptures we read. It is the parable of the sower and the seed. Go ahead and read the whole parable and Jesus' explanation.

³ “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. ⁴ As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. ⁵ Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. ⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, multiplying thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times.”

¹⁴ The farmer sows the word. ¹⁵ Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. ¹⁶ Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. ¹⁷ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. ¹⁸ Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; ¹⁹ but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. ²⁰ Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown.”  
                                                                                                                            Mark 4:3-8, 14-20

The different types of soil represent the hearts of the people who heard the word. So that is the first place to start when you're looking for results. What is the condition of Footnotes:

1. Mark 4:12 Isaiah 6:9,10

your heart?

In this case, I am the sower. I scattered the joy booklets out to different types of people. Maybe you never picked it up again. Well, that seed won't produce fruit.

Maybe you were like, cool this was a nice little gift, but you don't believe. Again, no fruit.

You could be like the rocky place that the seed falls on. I have a feeling that many of us are dealing with those rocky places and the hard heartedness. I can't seem to get away from writing about it.

 ⁷ So, as the Holy Spirit says:

   “Today, if you hear his voice,
 ⁸ do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion,
   during the time of testing in the desert,     Hebrews 3:7-8 NIV

This was reminding the people of when God first spoke these words to the people He had brought out of slavery in Egypt with Moses. God brought them out with miracles. After all that God had done for them, you know like parting the Red Sea so they could cross it on dry ground. But when they didn't have water they complained and asked why did God bring them there to die. He could help them escape from their enemy but He couldn't feed them? Ummm wrong!. God showed them what He could do and He took care of them. But their hearts were hard because they did not believe God who proved Himself over and over again. So the 12^th verse says,

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.

As Jesus said, when trouble and persecution came they gave up. Again, no fruit for those who are not trusting God.

Maybe your heart is like the soil with the thorns. The thorns are the worries of this life and then some. Romans 10:17 says faith comes by hearing the word of God. If your heart is rocky or has thorns, faith can't really come. I've experienced this. I read the word, but no faith. I have gotten so worried and worked up that I don't allow the Word to penetrate my heart. In those cases I have to ask God to forgive me and help me. As I keep reading the Word, my heart changes. But worries make the Word unfruitful. If your heart is like this, continue to read the scriptures until all the other things in the world don't bother you so much. See Till Until -- Grab a Plow! Part 2

Finally, your heart may be the good ground. Your heart was prepared, you heard/read the Word and believed it and if you have not already, you will produce the crops. Oh happy day! But you notice some seeds yielded more crops than other. Why? How ready was your heart? Any kind of soil can be prepared for an abundant harvest.

I'm going for 100 times what I've sown and that's not even the limit.

The Four-Letter F Word – My Story Part 3

I never got passed volume one of my Nancy Drew set. For me, mystery has always been scary. I don't like scary. It frightened me to not know who my enemy was. You know how you always imagine the worst?

When I learned my enemy's name, I could figure out, with God's help of course, how to deal with it. I researched depression. " If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle." Sun Tzu The Art of War. I'm going to read that book one day.

I was desperate for change. Of course I prayed, but you know what desperate times call for. I knew I needed to f_ _ _. That's how desperate I was. I really don't like to use the word, but sometimes you have to fast. Ugh! I made fresh juice and that was all that I swallowed for a few days. Spiritual fasting can be a weapon.

I also believed God had given my a strategy with three Ws.
      Work out – for my body. (Depression hates exercise.) That's all I'll say about that.
           Word – for my mind. Romans 12:2:  Do not be conformed to this world,
                            but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
               Worship – for my spirit. My connection to God.

I know I went to the gym at least two times, maybe three. I exercised. "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy."—Legally Blonde

I bought a pack of 50 index cards. I filled those cards with scriptures about joy and gladness and any word that was anti-depression. I read those cards daily (or mostly everyday.) Sometimes twice a day. I was too desperate to only read a promise a day.

For at least two minutes at a time, a couple of times a day I would tell myself:
  I'm not depressed.
  I have the joy of the Lord. (Nehemiah 8:10)
  I have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16)
  I'm a brilliant thinker. (because I used to be)
  I have a great memory. (because I used to have)

I would drive to my church for early morning prayer three days a week. My church was a 45-minute drive. Don't know why I can't go to a neighborhood church. I was desperate for change. I also had my girls praying for me. Everyone should have friends who pray.

Next I had to learn to focus on God and not on Denise. I praised God for His goodness. I listened to music that focused on Him. I listened to and sang happy music. I turned off the TV. I was desperate.

Let me preach a little right now: If you have a problem, get help. Do something about it. If you're drowning, don't try to figure out how to save yourself. I've done that and just stayed underwater way too long. Sometimes other people can see you're drowning and wonder how long you're going to stay down there. Please don't be too proud to ask for help. That hard heart may as well be a cement block around your neck. Don't postpone your life. Realize that God loves you and wants good things for your life. If you've been reading the joy scriptures, you should have recognized that. Stop lying to yourself.

Okay, as someone who has been there, I felt the need to say that. Moving on . . .

People had told me it was depression. These people were spiritually discerning. One prayed for me and said it was "depression in disguise." I didn't get it. Another prayed for me and I told her no, that's not me. One day, after I knew what I was dealing with, I heard someone say depression is a psychological disorder marked by an inability to concentrate. Oh, well why didn't they say that in the first place? I thought depression was being sad and mopey, which I was not. Hmmm, I guess that was the "disguise" part.

So I continued with my three Ws. At that time, there was a big Christian event coming to St. Louis. Area churches were meeting to pray. One Monday evening, my friend and I were there. We were near a lady from my church. She asked me when I was coming back to work with the children. I casually told her that I had some things I was working on. She said, "It doesn't take God 24 hours."

And my friend chimed in, "By this time tomorrow."

Those words are from a scripture in 2 Kings 7. It was during a time when there was a horrible famine because of the enemies surrounding the city. There was no apparent way out. The prophet of God told the king that there would be a complete turnaround "by this time tomorrow." And there was.

The Diagnosis -- My Story Part 2

We're almost finished reading Joy for 30 days. I am working on "God Is" for April. Let me know if you would like to receive this booklet. I will only give them to those who request one. Did I hear someone say, "Phew?" :-)

Now the LORD had said to Abram:
      “Get out of your country,
      From your family
      And from your father’s house,
      To a land that I will show you. Genesis 12:1 NKJV

You know how it is when you learn a new word and for the next week or so you hear people using it or you come across it in your reading? Well, it was sort of like that, but more so with the Genesis 12:1 verse. In about March or April 2003, I had a desire move. Now I don't like to rearrange my furniture, so the desire to move was very strange. Then I kept hearing that scripture. Isn't that scripture telling someone to move? What was going on? I didn't know where I wanted to go; I just knew I wanted to get out of Alton, Illinois.

The Symptons – My Story Part 1

I've put this off long enough, here we go:  It began several years ago. I'm not sure what happened but I noticed a change in my second to last semester of college. (I went to college after I was fully-grown, not right out of high school.) I don't recall now what I noticed, but I knew something was different and progressively getting worse. I made it through my classed and student teaching, but something was just different.

Now I've graduated. I am teaching eighth grade. I loved it. But something is not quite right and I can't put my finger on it. After a couple of years, I guess, one of the main things that I noticed initially was that I was forgetting things. I could begin a sentence and then . . . ummmm what was I going to say? I had to try to play it off and act like wasn't I was just changing the subject. Admittedly, I was probably not very interested in what I had to say. But this was ridiculous. It was one thing to search for a word, but quite another to lose a train of thought in conversation.

Because I didn't know what was going on with me, I stopped working with the preschoolers in children's church. I guess I was concerned that whatever I had might be spiritually contagious, if there is such a thing. I didn't want to be around the little ones when I felt so unsure of myself.

One thing that we would do at the beginning of children's church was to put on the "full armor of God." In Ephesians chapter 6, there is a list of six pieces of spiritual armor then it tells us to add prayer with it. I had developed the habit of naming the armor and saying all or parts of scriptures related to each piece of armor. I had taught it to the preschoolers and every Sunday, we would put on the armor of God together by saying those scriptures. Putting on the armor was a habit like getting dressed in morning. I'd step into the shower and name (the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, etc) with the scriptures. I had been doing it for years. Now I could not remember which part came next. I knew I could find a three year old who could tell me which piece came next. This was getting scary.

I was really fed up when I forgot someone's birthday. At that point, I went to speak with my pastor's wife, the co-pastor of our church. She is a spiritually discerning woman and she speaks with wisdom. She told me that she didn't believe what was going on with me was Alzheimer's or anything like that, but that it was related to my sleep. Yeah, I had noticed that my sleep patterns were off. Looking back on it, I realized that I had seasons of borderline insomnia. Ok, so I'll try to sleep better.

A few months later . . .

The next thing I noticed was that I would go to work and then come home and go to bed. I was just so sleepy all the time. I used to stay at work pretty late. Not anymore. Get up; go to work; come home; go to bed. Repeat. Now it was the end of the school year – the time of year when they have award banquets. I never missed a time to recognize students' achievements, if I could help it. I didn't go to the honors banquet. I went home and went to bed.

Finally, it was June and school was out. I had had enough of whatever was going on with me. At this point it had been seven years. Enough is enough already. I made a plan. I made a special place for myself to pray at home. A place for God and me to meet. On our first meeting in that place I told Him, "I'm not going anywhere until you show me what is wrong with me."

Catch Me! – Psalm 94:18-19

Several years ago, I had a bout with depression – I'll share more on this later. But I'll tell you this: I won! Anyway, I would read the scriptures. Psalm 94:18-19 was one to which I could relate. The psalmist said,

¹⁸ When I said, "My foot is slipping,"

your love, O LORD , supported me.

¹⁹ When anxiety was great within me,

Your consolation brought joy to my soul.

It's funny the way the first line is written. If your foot is slipping, you probably don't say, "My foot is slipping." You scream it. For me, I was saying screaming, "My mind is slipping. My life is slipping. Catch me."

The "catch me" is implied. I'm not telling You that my foot is slipping as if it is the daily weather forecast. I'm telling You because I need You to do something about it.

God knows. That's why I could say like the psalmist, His love kept me up.

I've got the Denise translation of verse 19: When I was trippin,' stressing, and worrying because I didn't know why my foot was slipping, Your comfort gave me a joy I couldn't explain and peace to keep going."

Even today when I read this scripture, probably EVERY time I read those verses, I feel a sigh of relief.

God's love supports. God's comfort brings joy. Aahhhhhhh

God's Exchange Policy -- Isaiah 61:1-3, 7

Last week I had an unpleasant experience of exchanging a product that did not work. I had to return it to a members-only store. Well, they don't exchange products; they give refunds on their "cash cards." I had bought the item with a coupon that had expired a few days after the purchase. So I was refunded the regular price. I explained that I had used a coupon and the cashier made the correction. Then I had to go to the other side of the store, find a new product, and check out again while explaining that the cash card was for a lesser amount because of the coupon, but I wanted that sale price again.

Here's the problem: In between the time of that purchase and my return, my membership card had expired. I did not want to renew my membership that day; I just wanted to exchange a faulty product. But they don't make exchanges so this was going to be a new purchase. I could not use the gift card without my membership card. (That's not what it says on the store website.) They brought a manager into the situation. We finally worked it out and I said thank you and was leaving. But before I left he made it quite clear that they don't usually do what he had done for me and they would NOT do it again.

If only he would have stopped before that last sentence. So basically he was doing me a favor by giving me a replacement that hopefully worked. I drew a deep breath and made my exit. I kept thinking about joy.

"I am not going to get upset. I am not going to let that man steal my joy. Oh, like he did me a favor. I'm not sure if I'm going to renew my membership there. He's got a lot of nerve. Calm down, Denise; it's no big deal. Relax."

God's exchange is such a contrast:

FOR OUR	GOD GIVES
Poverty	Good news (He has the solution)
Broken hearts	Healing
Captivity	Liberty
Spiritual incarceration	Open doors to freedom
Mourning	Comfort and consolation
Ashes of self-hate and humiliation	Beauty
Mourning	Oil of joy
Heaviness	Praise
Shame	Double honor
Confusion	Good inheritance and everlasting joy

As read in Isaiah 61:1-3, 7

¹ “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me,
      Because the LORD has anointed Me
      To preach good tidings to the poor;
      He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
      To proclaim liberty to the captives,
      And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

 ² To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
      And the day of vengeance of our God;
      To comfort all who mourn,
 ³ To console those who mourn in Zion,
      To give them beauty for ashes,
      The oil of joy for mourning,
      The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
      That they may be called trees of righteousness,
      The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

 ⁷  Instead of your shame you shall have double honor,
      And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.
      Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
      Everlasting joy shall be theirs.

Through Jesus, God exchanges all of our faults and defects without the attitude. To become a member, all you have to do is trust Him with your life. It is well worth it. He paid the price. Amen!

Who He Is; Who I Am -- Psalm 43:3-5 & Psalm 71:23

³Send out Your light and Your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You live. ⁴ There I will go to the altar of God, to God--the source of all my joy. I will praise You with my harp, O God, my God! ⁵ Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God! Psalm 43:3-5 NIV

So who is He? I can agree with the psalmist; God is the source of all my joy. People and stuff may make me happy for a minute, but no one else can give me joy. I'm thankful that His Word—His light and His truth—lead me to Him. When I lose my way or I am forgetful i.e., when my priorities are off, His light and truth bring me back to reality.

I like how David the psalmist asks himself questions: "Why am I discouraged? Why so sad?" I can relate to David. I ask myself questions and give myself good advice. David wrote this psalm apparently during a time of war. Verse 2 says: Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy? I can imagine him asking himself, "Why am I tripping because of the haters around me?" Then he prays, "Send out Your light and Your truth."  He says I will go to God the source of my joy. In verse 5 he reminds himself that it won't always be like that. He's going to hope in God and praise God.

Sometimes you have to talk to yourself. Sometimes you have to remind yourself where joy comes from. It cannot depend on the situation. I can't depend on people for joy. What happens when they have bad days? But I know something that will not change: God is the source of my joy. He is my Savior and My God.

Who I am

My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to You-I, whom You have redeemed. Psalm 71:23 NIV

I can sing and shout because I am confident in who He is and in who I am. Who am I? I, like David am the one that God redeemed. I'm the one that He brought out of darkness, fear, shame, depression, sin, guilt . . . I could go on. That's a reason to sing praise and shout for joy! HALLELUJAH!

Good Bye, Sigh – Isaiah 51:11

I may not be queen, but I am probably a runner-up of the sighers. I sigh by email and instant message. "I just needed to breathe," is my response when my mom questions my exaggerated exhalings (dipped in sarcasm).

Yeah, well my sighs are for dramatic pause. I do it well. I even throw in an eyeroll or two . . .  by email, by IM, and on the phone.

But sometimes people's sighs are more meaningful than mine. A sigh can be a moan of a soul looking for relief and comfort. It can be an escape valve to release the pressure. A sigh can be the groan of a heavy heart.

God gives His people hope in Isaiah 51:11. They had done wrong and ended up in hard place – captured by enemies. A loving God reminds them of who He is and what He has already done. Then He brings it home in this verse letting them know that they will be set free from captivity, filled with joy, and delivered from sadness.

     So the ransomed of the LORD shall return,

      And come to Zion with singing,

      With everlasting joy on their heads.

      They shall obtain joy and gladness;

      Sorrow and sighing shall flee away. Isaiah 51:11 NKJV

God reveals His heart about what He wants for His people.  You've gotta love it. I may not wear a tiara for being a sigh runner-up (insert eyeroll here), but I can be crowned with joy. God gives joy and gladness. What an awesome promise from an awesome God. And when that dynamic duo comes, we have to serve sorrow and sighing their papers . . . as in you don't have to go home but you've got to get the heck up out of here. I don't know, I picture sorrow and sighing picking up their robes so they won't drag the ground as they quickly put a distance between me and them. I'm okay with that. Sayonara. (insert sigh of relief here). 

No Drooopy Jesus -- Psalm 45:7

I'm not a big fan of Bible movies. I've already mentioned my feelings about the Ten Commandments flick. Well, the Jesus movies usually have a sad, droopy Jesus. He's so serious that He's scary. 

Let's think about this: People were always following Jesus. Crowds wanted to be around Him. Kids liked to hang around Him too. Now what crowd or kid, especially, wants to be around a gloomy Gus? Not I. Most normal people are probably attracted to happy souls.

Psalm 45 is a prophecy of Jesus Christ. In verse seven it says:

You love righteousness and hate wickedness;

Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You

With the oil of gladness more than Your companions. nkjv

Because of Jesus' choices, God anointed Him with more joy than anyone else. That is such a cool verse. It lets us know who He really is and what He was like on earth. Another scripture says He was "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief." Isaiah 53:3. These words are not a contradiction of Jesus having joy. We've already established that sorrow and grief are temporary. Joy is eternal. There are sad times in life, but joy is still in you and gives you strength through difficult seasons.

Despite what Jesus endured, He had the most joy. Now, the story gets cooler still. As His people, we are the body of Christ. He is the head. If He has the oil of joy on Him . . . ah, you see where I'm going with this. If He has it, we have it. If the head is anointed, the body is anointed. I pray that we will live like we have that joy and gladness in our lives.

To me, the Visual Bible version of the Gospel of Matthew shows the joy-filled Jesus.

Prayer: Father God! Help us to exhibit your joy. I pray that the oil of gladness that is on Jesus will pour down on us, His body -- that we will be contagiously anointed with joy. Amen – so be it!

Plow Now!

Are you committed yet to having more joy in your life? If you want the fruit of joy, plant the seeds of joy. But remember before you plant, you have to prepare the soil.

The seed is the Word of God. The sower sows the word. Mark 4:14

The soil is your heart.    Plow up the hard ground of your hearts … Hosea 10:12b NLT

You plant the seeds the seeds of joy by saying the Words about joy. A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; From the produce of his lips he shall be filled. Proverbs 18:20

Today is the first day of spring. It's a good day to begin your garden. Starting by plowing the ground and removing rocks and obstacles. As I was planning the journey of joy and considering not following through with my plans, a scripture kept rolling around my head:

If you are too lazy to plow in the right season, you will have no food at the harvest. Proverbs 20:4 NLT 2004

I knew that this was the Spirit of God reminding me not to procrastinate. If we wait until June, it may be too late. And remember how I literally saw a sign to get me started on my journey? The bumper sticker said, "Don't postpone joy."

How funny, I just realized that I saw a sign. :-) I didn't even ask for one.

Let's get this party garden started. PLOW NOW!

From a previous post, Till Until -- Grab a Plow! Part 2:

So how do I till the soil/my heart?

Repentance – turning away from everything that is not like God.

Forgiveness – forgiving offenses quickly and not holding grudges.

Humility – realizing that God is in control and I'm not.

Gratefulness – giving thanks instead of complaining.

Trust – leaning on God and not myself. 

Don't postpone joy. You deserve all the good that God has for you.

Commandments = Joy? Psalm 19:8

Some people just have a different perspective. When I read Psalm 19:8 NLT

The commandments of the LORD are right,
      bringing joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are clear,
      giving insight for living.

I have to wonder what the psalmist was thinking. When I hear the word "commandment," I think Ten Commandments. When I think of the Ten Commandments, I often think of the movie with Charlton Heston and Yule Brenner. Oy! It's not one of my favorite movies, to say the least. But I think about a bunch of "thou shalt nots."

How do words that start with "thou shalt not" bring joy to the heart? It's all of matter of perspective. If you look at it in the sense that someone is telling what you cannot do, it's no fun at all. But if you read the Word of God like a promise, it does bring joy.

Because I know that God is working in me, I can read the Ten Commandments in a different way.

Instead of:	I can say:
'You shall have no other gods before Me.'	I shall have no other gods before You
'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.'	I will not make for myself a carved image.
'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.'	I shall not take the name of the LORD my God in vain.
'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.	I remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.
'Honor your father and your mother.'	I honor my father and my mother.
'You shall not murder.'	I shall not murder.
'You shall not commit adultery.'	I shall not commit adultery.
'You shall not steal.'	I shall not steal.
'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.'	I shall not bear false witness again my neighbor.
'You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's	I shall not covet my neighbor's stuff.

This brings joy to my heart. I know that I am not above breaking any of the commandments, but I have joy knowing that I don't have to and I have God in me to help me.  And I have joy knowing that this is the right way to live. So when God says, "you shall not," I agree with Him and say, "You're right, I shall not. I don't have to. Thanks for helping me not to. "

And BTW, thanks for joy.

Good Morning, Joy -- Psalm 30:4-5

Throughout life we go through seasons. In a couple of days it will be the first day of spring. But we also go through seasons of emotions. There are times when we are more contemplative than others. When we anticipate something new on the horizon, we have a season of excitement. We may have a season of grief after a tragic event. But these are seasons. They come and they go.

In the book of Psalms, the writer says

 ⁴ Sing praise to the LORD, you saints of His,
         And give thanks at the remembrance of His

         holy name.
 ⁵ For His anger is but for a moment,
         His favor is for life;
         Weeping may endure for a night,
         But joy comes in the morning.

                                            Psalm 30:4-5 NKJV

The psalmist reminds the people to offer thanks to God. Why? Because some things do not last for ever. Back in the day, the people were so disobedient that God would allow them to get into sticky situations. But the psalmist knew that God's anger was only temporary and that His grace is forever. The psalmist also  recognized that grief, weeping, and sadness are also as temporary as the night. Why? Because a season of joy is coming. Just as morning follows night, joy follows weeping. Just as favor is for a lifetime, joy can be forever. Or as Isaiah 61:7 calls it, "everlasting joy."

I pray that you recognize that the tough times, the sadness, the grief, the despair, and the sorrow pass away just like the night. Know that joy is coming. I pray that you will meet the new day by saying, "good morning, joy."

Progress Part 2 – Confessin' Ain't Easy

Ok, so you know how I said in my previous post that the more I read about joy, the more I wanted it? At the same time, the more I read those scriptures, the more I realized I had hard places in my heart.

In my quest to fulfill the scripture that says "Plow up the hard ground of your hearts" I found that I had this big rock or something icky in my heart. There were ill feelings in my heart that I could not deal with. I could not shake them off and I could not ignore them. Honestly, I could not completely identify the feelings – is it unforgiveness? Is it anger? Is it bitterness? I wasn't sure. I just knew I had to deal with it. Confessin' ain't easy.

So, how do I deal with it when I don't know what it is? I remembered the scripture

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16 NLT

Well, I don't really like confession. It means I have to swallow any pride (another sin) and admit I'm not perfect (who thought I was? HA!). But I also have to find someone to confess to. This can be tricky because you have to find someone you can trust and someone who can pray for you.  Confessin' ain't easy.

It was not difficult to find the person. The hard part is finding time to talk to that person when she is not busy and she is not in a place where her phone is constantly dropping the call. Sheesh! Confessin' ain't easy.

Three days later . . .  Now I had to be brave and say what's on my mind even when I'm not sure. It went sort of like, "Something's wrong and I'm not sure what these feelings are." This is when I have to be vulnerable and just put myself out there. Confessin' ain't easy. But it is SOOOOO worth.

We did like the scripture said:

1.     I confessed.

2.     She shared scripture relating to what I was saying.

3.     I whined. (That's not in the book.)

4.     She relentlessly shared the Word.

5.     I said "but I don't want to do that."

6.     She ignored me.

7.     I gave in.

8.     She prayed.

9.     I'm healed of that. I feel so much better. I can tell that the hard ground is broken up.  

10.    OH HAPPY DAY!

It was difficult to write this today; I should have written and posted it yesterday.

Confessin' ain't easy. But I'm glad I've dealt with it and I'm moving forward.

Progress Part 1 – Getting My Groove Back

When I began this joy journey, I knew I wanted more joy in my life.  And I felt like it was a God idea to ask family and friends to participate. I knew I would be blessed by it. But I had no idea how much I needed joy in my life.

The more I read these scriptures, the more I want joy. And the more I realize how much I need joy.  Reading about it is making me crave it. You know how it is when someone talks about good food. Like the other day I asked my friend what her ideal dinner would be. I just could not think of an answer to that question. But as she answered me, the juicy started flowing .  .  . literally. My mouth started watering; I wanted to eat right then; and I began to come with plans for my ideal meal. Well, I guess that's how it's been with joy. I didn't know how hungry I was for it until I started talking about it.

We're at the half point today (15 days) and I know I haven't received the full harvest. Shoot (au contraire), I'm not sure I've planted seeds. I feel as if I'm still working on the preparing my heart. *sigh* But I can tell a difference.

I'm finally starting to relax. I'm not walking around with my shoulders up to my ears; they've come down a little. I'm not "stressing" as much as I had been lately. But my favorite step toward progress so far is getting my morning dance back. I like to dance in the morning. I don't need music. I've got the music in me. I just like to dance. I mean it's no big deal about the kind of dance. I just like to shake it. HEEEEYYYYY! The big deal is that I have a spontaneous dance coming out instead of the attitude of preparing for my day like a condemned woman walking her last mile.

Oh, and that's the perfect segue for Psalm 30:11-12

¹¹ You turned my wailing into dancing;

you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

¹² that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.

O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout!

I pray that you are beginning to notice a change in your life. 

Lots of love! 

                        Oh wait!  

                                            Lots of joy!

Joy to the Max -- Psalm 16:11

      You have made known to me the path of life;
      you will fill me with joy in your presence,
      with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11 NIV

Wow! What a promise: joy in His presence. Not just joy, but filled with joy. "Filled" is joy in every nook and cranny. From the end of every strand of hair to the tip of every toe. Joy to the max! That promise is for "some day." And it comes with  a side of eternal pleasures. This will happen when our lives on this planet are over.

But what about today? Try it and see if it can happen here and now. Get in His presence today and see what happens. We can enter God's presence on earth when we pray in Jesus' name. If we quiet ourselves and pray something like, "God I want to be in Your presence now. Please show me what it's like to know You are with me." Then let Him take it from there.

I pray that you will know what it is like to be in God's presence. I pray that you will prepare your heart so that you can know Him. I pray that you and I will have first-hand experience with Psalm 16:11

This Is What It's All About -- Romans 14:16-18

Waaaaay back in the day – the day of the Old Testament – the people had a lot of dietary laws. There was quite a list of what they could not eat. In the New Testament, Jesus said, "Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.” Matthew 15:11 NKJV.

It was a new day. But there were still people who observed the dietary laws while others did not. Paul the apostle of Jesus Christ wanted people to understand that they shouldn't make a big deal about it. He explained,

The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him.  Romans 14:3 NIV

Ok Denise, where are you going with this? What does this have to do with joy? I'm so glad you asked. In later verses Paul goes on to explain  . . .

¹⁵ If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. ¹⁶ Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. ¹⁷ For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, ¹⁸ because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

This is what the Kingdom of God is about: righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Some people today still follow dietary laws. I have met Christians who do not eat seafood or catfish because of laws in the Old Testament.

Shrimp, lobster, and crab are some of my favorite foods. But it would be better for me to eat a cracker than offend someone. Why? Because I don't want my "good be spoken of as evil." I could be right, but what does it matter if I offend someone? It is not about rules and regulations. The Kingdom is about joy. This is God's order. This is what is normal in the Kingdom of God.

So that's the reason Romans 14:16-18 is the second verse in the Joy booklet. It's to remind us what the Kingdom of God is about . . . righteousness (being in right relationship with God), peace, and joy.

Joy is our way of life.

All of It . . . Out Loud . . . Every Day

Have you seen the promise-a-day booklets? They are little books with one scripture to think about each day. At the front of the Joy booklet, I suggest that you read the entire booklet out loud for 30 days. For some people, I guess one promise per day is good enough. For me, I would probably forget that verse by the end of the day and by the end of the week, I certainly may not remember, for example, Monday's promise.

So my suggestion is to read all of the verses of scripture in Joy. It takes less than 10 minutes. As we read all of them, we start to catch on to the theme. As we read all of them, we start to retain more and we will know more by the end of the 30 days than we would reading only one a day.

I also suggest reading them out loud for a couple of reasons. First, we are more likely to focus if we read out loud. Then there are scriptural reasons to read them this way. Remember how we've read that the Word of God is a seed? 

Mark 4:14 NIV Jesus begins to explain a parable that He had told His disciples earlier. In verse 10 He told them, "A farmer went out to sow his seed." Now in verse 14 He explains "The farmer sows the word."

How do you sow a word except by saying it?

Even in the Old Testament of the Bible there are illustrations of how the words we say are seeds because they produce fruit.

   From the fruit of his mouth a man’s stomach is filled;

   with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied. Proverbs 18:20 NIV

The "fruit of your mouth" and the "harvest of your lips" are based on the words you speak. So speak the words of joy so the fruit of your mouth will be *drumroll*. . . JOY!

Finally, Romans 10:17 NKJV says:

So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

As you read the Word out loud, you're hearing it; as you hear it, faith comes into your heart. It's good for you to read the Word, but it's better if you read it and hear it.

We're all going to be amazed at what happens at the end of the 30 days of reading all of these scriptures out loud and everyday. I pray that as you read them, not only will faith enter your heart, but also that your desire for joy will increase.

Don't Be Surprised by "Anti-Joy"

Is it just me or is anyone else experiencing what I would call "anti-joy"?

I knew this day was coming. I shouldn't be surprised. Yet it still snuck up on me. Before I began this blog, I knew I was going to write about this subject.

In our pursuit to plant, cultivate, and reap joy in our lives there comes a day(s) when everything in life seems to fight against us achieving our goal. Stress, discouragement, depression, misunderstandings, anger, sadness, grief, arguments, disagreements, crankiness, disappointments, and sorrow are a few emotions and events that I would put in the anti-joy category. Maybe you are experiencing one or all of these as of late. Don't be surprised that such things would happen.

Remember Jesus' parable about the sower scattering seeds?

¹⁶And in the same way the ones sown upon stony ground are those who, when they hear the Word, at once receive and accept and welcome it with joy; ¹⁷And they have no real root in themselves, and so they endure for a little while; then when trouble or persecution arises on account of the Word, they immediately are offended (become displeased, indignant, resentful) and they stumble and fall away. Mark 4:16-17 AMP

Why did trouble or persecution come? On account of the word. It's a promise. It's something to be expected no matter what type of soil, no matter the condition of your heart. It's a fact of life.

We can replace the words "trouble or persecution," in that verse with "test."Everyone is familiar with that concept: after you learn something new, you take a test on it. So, on "account of the word" a test will come.  It is a test to see if you believe what you've been reading. It is a test of your faith.

I noticed it over last weekend. I was feeling stressed and as if I had a short fuse. Then I thought, "oh this is to be expected." That helped to me relax.

The Book of James tells us what to do in these situations:

² Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ³ For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ⁴ So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2-3 NLT

"Let it grow."  I like that. You know I'm going to have to start saying that phrase. :-) But here's the deal: consider this is an opportunity for great joy! Well, there's a joy scripture that I did not include in the joy booklet. Now that's going to take a transformed mind to consider a test an opportunity for joy. But then again it's not too much of a stretch. When you studied and were prepared in school, you could tell the teacher "bring it" at test time. You wanted to prove that you learned your lesson, right? So be ready when your test comes. Your reward is that your patience will grow and you will be complete (mature, promotable) and not needing help with every little thing.

As you are pursuing joy, know that anti-joy is going to come on account of the Word. Now you won't be caught off guard.

¹² Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. ¹³ But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 1 Peter 4:12-13 NIV

So, if I may take the liberty to rewrite one of the Shirelles' songs:

Jesus said there'll be days like this,
There'll be days like this Jesus said
(Jesus said, Jesus said)
Jesus said there'll be days like this,
There'll be days like this my Jesus said
(Jesus said, Jesus said)

A Good Day for Transformation -- Romans 12:2

It doesn't feel like it today, but I know the vernal equinox is soon – March 20, the first day of spring. Life and color are coming back to nature. Good riddance to dead brown leaves and bare branches. Spring is time for transformation.     

Many of my scripture booklets begin with

Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.  Romans 12:2   NLT

It sets the expectation for the book. The goal is transformation, which begins in the thoughts.  The NKJV says it like this:

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2

Changing the way you think = renewing your mind = transformation.

When I think "transformation," I think "metamorphosis." Who can think metamorphosis without thinking back to second grade when we learned about caterpillars turning into butterflies? What a cool way for God to teach us transformation.

Replacing our limited, common thoughts with God thoughts as seen in His Word gives us the ability to stop crawling and to sprout wings. Something to consider: we can go a lot farther by flying than crawling.

What Is Joy?

Let's look at joy in context of the other fruit of the Spirit.

²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23a  NIV

These fruit are not emotions; they are more like qualities or characteristics. Emotions can and do change within seconds depending on the situation. Joy is more than happiness. Happiness is based on what happens. I am happy because ______.  I am not happy because _____. Or I will be happy if _____. But joy is that gladness that is in our hearts no matter what.

When Jesus knew that it was time to die and that He would be leaving His disciples, He explained to them:

Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you.  John 16:22 NKJV

That's what we're looking for: having the quality of a life of joy that is not based on a situation. It does not mean that we will laugh all the time, nor does it mean that we'll never feel sadness,  but we will have joy that no one will take from us.  Amen!

Till Until -- Grab a Plow! Part 2

After reviewing the You Might Have a Hard Heart If   . . . list, I know I have some hard, rocky places. I have my work cut out for me.

My Uncle Dennis used to prepare my mom's garden with a tiller. It broke up the soil and turned it over . . . it prepared the unplowed ground.

Jesus described the people whose hearts are unplowed.

¹⁶ Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. ¹⁷ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.

No fruit from those seeds because the ground wasn't ready. I'm committed to have a bumper crop of joy. So how do I till the soil/my heart?

Repentance – turning away from everything that is not like God.

Forgiveness – forgiving offenses quickly and not holding grudges.

Humility – realizing that God is in control and I'm not.

Gratefulness – giving thanks instead of complaining.

Trust – leaning on God and not myself.  

The biggest thing for me though is to stop feeding my heart with junk. I felt as if I was becoming a TV and movieholic. I was filling my time watching TV shows and movies online. The quality of programming wasn't necessarily the problem; the quantity was the problem – hours upon hours. It was an easy way to be a vegetable and I didn't have to think too much to allow all of that garbage in my heart. When I say garbage, I don't mean profane or explicit content. Too many family movies turn into junk food for the soul.

So now, I have to stop with the garbage and put in the good.

Right now as I read the joy scriptures daily, I am using them to break up the hard places. I love it that God says in Jeremiah 23:29 in the Amplified version:

Is not My word like fire [that consumes all that cannot endure the test]? says the Lord, and like a hammer that breaks in pieces the rock [of most stubborn resistance]?

My heart has been that rock of most stubborn resistance lately. It's as if I can feel the hardness. But I am daily applying the hammer and I will continue to till until the soil is ready. I feel a WOOHOO! coming on.