Prayer Journal Entry

This is embarrassing. Maybe embarrassment is part of the reason I have not written in a couple of days. On the day when I wrote my last entry, I was doing what I said in the post before – I wrote a list of the questions I have about my life that I would like God to answer.

I reached on my bookshelf to find a journal to use. I found a journal with an entry related to what I had just written about in my blog post. That's great, right? Well, not so much because the date of the journal entry was July 25, 2005! How sad and embarrassing. My friend had sent me a little poster via email about a month ago. It said something like, " A year from now you will wish you had started today." So I could have written, "Six years from now . . . "

Let's hope I'm not in the same place next year. Meanwhile . . . I'm going to share my journal entry with you . . .

July 25, 2005

Last Wednesday Pastor Tony [associate pastor at my church] taught and there was one thing he said that especially stuck with me. He said instead of memorizing a chapter, we are better off doing one scripture. This is manageable – I can do that. I will do that.

So I mediated on it. Which Word should be the one that I should put into practice? I tried to avoid it, but the scripture that came to mind was Jeremiah 33:3: Call to me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you do not know.

I believe this is my "do" Word for starters. The funny thing is that it does not seem like a "do" Word compared to "love" or "give." But I feel that I am to call on God about the questions that I have. When I call to God, I will get to know Him and of course will be spending time with Him. So my plan is this time to write out my questions and the answers God gives me as I call to Him. As I was thinking about doing this, I was looking for a different scripture in Jeremiah when I came to chapter 30 verse 2:

Thus speaks the LORD God of Israel, saying: ‘Write in a book for yourself all the words that I have spoken to you. Jeremiah 30:2 NKJV

I'll take that as a confirmation.

I was also reminded of another scripture as I thought about the "call to me" verse. Proverbs 25:2 (Chapter 25 happens to be the chapter of the day). [By this I meant that if you read a chapter of Proverbs a day on July 25, you would read Proverbs 25]

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter,

But the glory of kings is to search out a matter. Proverbs 25:2 NKJV

This reminds me of what Neil Kennedy [a preacher who speaks at my church] says, "God is not keeping secrets from you, God is keeping secrets for you."

This challenges me to learn the secret things of God. Of course, He will only share secrets with close friends – those whom He trusts. [I might add: those who spend a lot of time with Him.]  In Isaiah 45:3, God tells King Cyrus

I will give you the treasures of darkness

And hidden riches of secret places,

That you may know that I, the LORD,

Who call you by your name,

Am the God of Israel. Isaiah 45:3 NKJV

Daniel put it like this:

²² He reveals deep and secret things;
He knows what is in the darkness,
And light dwells with Him.
²³ “ I thank You and praise You,
O God of my fathers;
You have given me wisdom and might,
And have now made known to me what we asked of You,
For You have made known to us the king’s demand.”        Daniel 2:22-23 NKJV

And again God shows that he shares with kings in verse 28

But there is a God in heaven who reveals secrets, and He has made known to King Nebuchadnezzar what will be in the latter days. Daniel 2:28a NKJV

God does reveal secrets to kings and those who seek after Him – to those who are intimate with Him. It's as Juanita Bynum [a preacher] said, "There are some things that He shared with the multitudes, some with only His disciples, and some things He only shared with three—Peter, James, and John.

I want my motivation to be up to the point where I have to be one of the three—where I have to be part of the inner circle.

My new habit is to call to God and listen. I will learn to discern His voice. After all, I am His sheep. I know His voice and follow Him. I will not follow the voice of a stranger.

I am going to write the questions . . .  I will write what God gives me concerning those questions and do what He tells me to do concerning them.

So there you have it . . . six years later and God is still trying to teach me to DO that Jeremiah 33:3 and to be like a king and search out the things of God. And THAT'S why I'm embarrassed to share this. But I hope it helps someone and is a warning to others. God has been gracious to me, but I don't want to test Him. I have to be a doer of the Word and not a hearer only.

Pray with me (seriously):

God, You are a gracious, patient, loving Father. You have been teaching me how to pray for these last few months and even years. You have shown mercy to me. I don't want to test You, though. Please forgive me for disobeying You through procrastination. I don't know why I don't pray as much as I want to. If it's unbelief, I know that faith comes by hearing the Word. So thank You for the words of faith that I read and hear about prayer. Your Word is driving away doubt and unbelief. If fear keeps me from praying, I know You have said that Your perfect love casts out fear. I will rest in Your love and not fear seeking Your face. You have good plans for me—plans to prosper me and not to harm me. You have plans to give me a future and a hope. Why should I fear? If laziness keeps me from seeking Your face, You have promised in Your Word that the diligent hand shall prosper. So thank You that if I am diligent in prayer, I will prosper and be successful in my prayer life. You said that if I seek You I'll find You, if I search for You with all my heart. If there is anything beyond myself that stops me from praying, please remove it from me. I don't want anything to come between You and me. I don't want to look back a year now and wish that I had started today. A year from now, I want to look back and praise You for how close You and I have grown over the year. I want to look back and praise You for a successful year. I want to praise You that my prayer life has increased and that I've been a blessing to others. I believe in You Father. When I am not sure about my ability, I know that You are able to help me and strengthen me. I trust You and I trust Your Word. Thank You a good year. Thank You that I can pray to You in Jesus' name. So be it!